A simple guide to the standard student house

Living in a student house is hectic, messy, noisy and probably one of the best times in your life – or so they say. You’ve moved out of halls, made the step from fresher to fully fledged second year and for the first time in your life need to know what day it is the bins go out.

It’s getting around that time of year, the keen ones amongst you are creating house group chats and signing contracts. Whilst the more relaxed ones will leave it till after christmas and hope for the best. 

You should probably bare in mind that these people will be your housemates for almost a year. Housemates can be defined in many ways: you share a bathroom, you steal their milk, they see you at your best and your worst.

Everyone has that chosen housemate they cry to on a Saturday morning when the realisation hits that you kissed that course mate, did 17 tequila shots and fell over in front of the whole rugby team. You’ll proceed to go to this housemates room the morning after every traumatic night out and beg them to keep you safe from the taunts of the others in the house. 

Someone will be really really messy and you’ll all gather in the kitchen to discuss just how disgusting the state of their room is and how they haven’t washed their pots in a week, despite the fact none of you have either. Bins will hold a permanent residency in the kitchen and the hoover won’t work properly, so walking across the kitchen floor bare foot becomes a safety hazard. 

One of you will find it hilarious to wake everyone up. The chosen method may differ but it tends to revolve around loud music, banging doors, stomping up and down stairs and unnecessary drunken phone calls. Don’t be that person. 

Just like first year, you will lose every piece of cutlery you own. They’ll show up again at the end of the year and will probably have festered under someones bed or behind the sofa – its unlikely you’ll want to keep them. 

You’ll all instantly regret offering to have pre’s at your house when you remember the cleaning that will be involved. Bottle caps will become the main obstacle on the hazardous kitchen floor and someone will be sick in your sink.

House meetings will become a thing and someone will begin to abuse the system and call a meeting at every given chance. There will be much protesting about certain issues, shortly everyone will loose interest and you’ll never get round to asking the landlord to fix the doorbell.

Photo Credit: Jonathan Lidbeck via Compfight cc

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Sinead Morrissey

"Professional napper with a love of all things fashion and beauty. Easily bribed with a bag of Doritos."

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