Christmas Cracker jokes

4200643906_937ceb049f_oChristmas is the most magical time of the year from imaginative Christmas trees to Mistletoe and your ugly Christmas jumpers that only see daylight at this time of year!

Personally I love all your typical carol singing, drinking eggnog and the best part of it… opening that fresh box of crackers that your parents bought decorate the Christmas tree and all around the table when you stuff your faces with Christmas dinner. Do you agree?

There comes a time when your anticipation to pull the crackers gets too much and you look at the host as if to say ‘come on… let’s just do this.’ Now this person is always me. I don’t know about you but turning to the person next to me and just saying ‘would you like to pull this cracker with me’ really makes me happy about Christmas.

Now. You’re probably thinking why? I shall tell you why.

This small tube of cardboard as we know holds many gifts and surprises inside such as playing cards, address book, tape measure, padlock, bottle opener, travel frame, party hat and the most important thing… The Christmas cracker joke.

But now, don’t forget, that before you get to this magical moment, you have to pull the cracker. The tense moment arrives when the bang goes off and you realise you have conquered the cracker and won the goodies.

A few of my favourite jokes are:

1. Where does Father Christmas go to recover after Christmas?

An elf farm

2. What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?

He gives them the sack.

3. What’s brown and creeps around the house?

Mince spies.

4. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?

He had no body to go with

5. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

6. What’s ET short for?

Because he’s only got little legs.

7. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?

A nervous wreck.

So this Christmas, I hope your moment is as magical when you pull your first Christmas cracker… and after that… many many more!

Image courtesy of Sparkly Katie via Flickr

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Zoe Morris-Jones

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