Long Distance Relationships at University, and how to make it work

ID-100175980In the months/years leading up to your time at university you’ve been happily loved-up and now you’re about to head your separate ways to opposite ends of the country for university. While this can seem like the end of the world, with some careful planning and work from both sides it is manageable.

First of all you need to have “the talk”. Discuss openly and honestly what you both want out of the relationship and whether you think it will work while you’re apart. For things to end well you both need to start off on the same page.

Once you’ve decided to make a go of things it’s time to do some planning. How often would you like to see each other? This will depend in part to the distance separating you. If it’s only an hour then you might be able to spend more time together but if it’s a five-hour train ride then every weekend might not be feasible. Find a system that works for the two of you and make sure you share the journeying and cost equally. It won’t be fair if one person has to fork out for the whole cost every time.

For the times when you’re apart make an effort to speak every day, even if it’s only for 5 minutes on the phone with a longer Skype chat every few days. While you might want to speak to them for hours every day, it’s important to remember that you will also have work to do.

As well as work you’ll also both have new social commitments with your flatmates and friends from your course. It’s important to socialize with them as they will make your life at university easier and give you a support network when you’re feeling down. You don’t want to end up with a reputation for being stuck to your computer all the time and not making any effort. Hopefully your other half will fit smoothly in with your new friends so that when you’re all together everybody gets along.

Keep in mind that you’re both living new lives and be prepared for the tough times ahead (which will happen, despite what everyone says) and you’ll come out the other side just fine. Relationships are all about give and take and a lot of compromise, it’s important to realise this to be successful when living the LDR life.


Image courtesy of tiverylucky via freedigitalphotos.net

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Elissa Blankley

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